Happy New Year!

Happy New Year !! From our Family to yours!!!

It has been such an unusally mild winter so far... today we decided to drag the kiddos out for a bike ride to get them out of the house! It sure would be nice to have some really cold weather (to kill the bugs) and snow.... but for now - we'll take this!!!

Happy New Year to all!

Is it wrong to want to run someone over?

On a daily basis, I always wonder what I would do if I were driving down the street and the boys birth mother would be walking down the same street.....

Not to sound judgemental, or pointing a finger or "accuse" someone of something... but I like to put 99% of the blame for my kids challenges on HER. True, we made the decision to adopt the boys (maybe that is the 1%)... but we did so with the hope that we would be able to raise them and love them and mold them into awesome little people that made society a better place. So, here we are facing an uphill battle to parent these kids that have a hidden disability....

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is one of those things you rarely hear about, unless you are in a bar and actually read the warning sign that says pregnant women should not drink because it could lead to Fetal Alcohol Disorder. FAS is a very non-noticeable disability that makes life really tough for those who suffer from it - and even harder for those who love that person.

The one thing that always makes me so mad is that FAS is 100% PREVENTABLE.... 100%!!! If you don't drink - it won't happen!

While I know that I should feel sympathy/empathy/compassion etc etc for this woman - and be thankful that she did bring the boys into this world... I DON'T... When I look that the selfish choices she made with not only ONE child, but THREE... I get mad! All three boys will have a lifelong list of challenges to face to fit into the world. FAS brain damage cannot be reversed, repaired or "fixed"... there are very few bandaids that work for very long.... it is a hourly and daily challenge to get through each and every day with success... and not to mention EXHAUSTING.

Why is it exchausting? Let me see if I can try to explain.... as the "normal child grows and matures, he learns information/skills/techniques to make his daily life easier... for example, you teach your child to shower... turn on water, close curtain, shampoo hair, wash with soap, rinse, turn off water, grab towel and dry off... then get dressed. Sounds simple, right? Well, FAS does a nice little trick and makes sure that the cables that carry info back and forth in the brain forget a step or two, or gets them out of order - DAILY. So - if your child showers EVERY day, each day you get something forgotten or done out of order. One day it might be they remember to turn the water on and get it... and that's about it. Another day they will fail to close the curtain... another day they will decide that instead of getting dressed they will lay on the floor, dripping wet under a towel... until you come check on them and have to remind them the next step.

Now - imagine the steps for EACH AND EVERY DAILY FUNCTION... from getting into the car, to getting dressed, to getting your teeth brushed, to eating, to using the bathroom... and on and on and on... Now - repeat that 365 days in a row.... so, each day is a bit different... a different challenge - yet the same. You get really worn down. You also get to the point where you can just LOOK at your child and know what they did or did not do without any outward signs from them. You know the lie out of their mouth before they make it, you know that step 3 of 4 did not get done, you know that they are thinking about how to avoid what you will say next... call it ESP...

Over time, you learn what situations will set your child into a mood or have an episode, or put them in a position where their "bad choice" will turn out disasterous... sadly - you learn that there is no way to be able to use consequential learning... these FAS kids do not learn from a situation with consequences the first, third, seventeenth or twentith time... and if they do actually learn it - with their horrible memory challenges, they will forget, until it is too late! As a parent, you learn that it is just better to avoid those situations all together. Even if it means your child won't be able to do the things that everyone else does... that's emotionally exhausting because you feel guilt for not letting your kids do the "things" that you "think" that they should get to do... all those growing up things. It's tough, it's not fair and again - IT IS EXHAUSTING!

So would I run her over ? I guess it depends on the day... I think a better punishment would be to MAKE her be a good parent and parent them... maybe, just maybe she would see a glimpse of the damage that she has done.

Did we survive the Holiday??

Apparently, yes - we did survive the Holiday!! This year was the most low-key Christmas day we have had since the boys were still little. Santa brought less "filler" gifts and more quality gifts this year - and the quantity was alot less too! The boys were a little surprised that they did not receive as many gifts... that is UNTIL they opened the family gift, which was an Xbox with Kinect! They are THRILLED with the xbox (so far) and the only games they got were the kind that they have to be up and literally working out! I am hoping that they will finally learn that they actually CAN play video games - IF they earn it!

It is sad that we cannot have a big family Holiday with the grandparents, uncles, aunt and cousins... but it is just too exhausting to have to do all the parenting/supervising during the chaos... call me selfish, but I really get tired of having to keep my eagle eyes going !! Sadly, most people don't understand the dynamics that are involved in having these types of kids... it is never ending, you don't get a break, and just when you think that you can let your guard down for a few minutes, something WILL happen, and you will promptly kick yourself for knowing better!! (geee- not that I know that from experience or anything!!)

For Christmas EVERY year, my kids always ask me what I would like... my answer is always the same.... "kids that make good choices and will be responsible for themselves".... maybe one of these years....... :)

Our Christmas Cat

Little J managed to "capture" one of our cats - Lyger.... who is very smart when he thinks that there is a child in pursuit of holding him... he is one smart cat and hides up on the cupboards in the kitchen! He is such a big sweetie though!

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

I am playing catch-up.. yep 6 months worth!!

Today, I have been working on playing catch up on the blog.... I feel bad that I have not devoted more time to keeping the blog more current and up to date... so... you can scroll down and see some of the "fun" we have had (and the not so fun) over the last six months!!!

Happy Gotcha Day #5!

It's hard to believe that it has been five years since we brought home our little Miss O! Today is the day, five years ago, that we sprung her out of the orphanage and never looked back. She has come so far! :) We love you O!

Miss O is SEVEN!!!!

Happy Birthday to my little Angel!!!!

The Winter Band Conert

Tonight was the winter quarter/Holiday Band Concert... I have to admit - they have gotten ALOT better since the first concert two months ago! At first, Little J did not want to pose much pictures, but he soon got goofy and changed his tune!

Winter Concert for O

Today was the Winter (or as I like to call it CHRISTMAS !!) Concert for Miss O. As usual, half the songs were not in English (big frowny face) and the other half were done on the horrible instruments that leave you with a massive headache and desire to run screaming from the gym!! While it is fun for the kids - at least I think it is... if the kids were not so darn cute - it would be considered torture!! I still love the heck outta my sweet little girl - but man oh man I need an Advil! :)

Happy Holidays!!

An actual kidless vacation - well sorta

I was fortunate enough to get a kidless vacation, to Hawaii!! :) I got to spend 5 days in Waikiki enjoying peace, quiet, sleeping in, good food, nice weather.. did I mention peace and quiet??
The hubby has been working in Hawaii about every three to four weeks... we were able to swing having me tag along for a trip since both Little J and Miss O were in school and my Mom was in town to be able to watch both. Had Big Al been home, this trip would not have been possible!
The weather was super nice... even though it was a bit lonely by myself all day.. I loved the peace and quiet and ability to be able to let my guard down for a bit.. A much needed respite for ME!

She is too cute!

All dressed up for school pictures today - I still can't believe that she is in First Grade!!! I so so so miss her baby years!

Note to self - don't let the Boy take the Camera!

I made the "mistake" of letting Little J take my camera on their little road trip over the weekend.. here is just a SAMPLE of the 200+ pictures he took in 36 hours..

A quickie road trip

The hubby took Little J and Miss O to Sequim to visit the Grandparents... apparantly, Lion went as well and had to get into the photos!

A big First Grader!

Today, Miss O started FIRST GRADE! Wow - it seemed like just yesterday she was learning to talk! :)

She is excited to be going to school all day long! What in the world am I going to do with my days now???? It was a tear jerker leaving her the first day!

Wow - I have a 6th grader!

I am having a hard time believing that my Little J is actually going to the Middle School!!! WOW! He is really excited (and I think alot nervous!) to go into 6th grade! Here he is on the first day....

Miss O and the Fair

Miss O won the Steer Wrestling event at the Pee-Wee Rodeo... ok, it was knocking over a saw horse while riding a stick horse, but she got a trophy - that is all she cares about!!


Miss O and her blue ribbon winning zuchinni

Fair 2011 - Piggies

Little J showing Chopper in the Show Ring


Little J and Shiloh in the Show Ring



The Fair seems to come sooner and sooner every year! We are never quite ready for it to get here and then always really really ready for it to be over - haha!

This was a tough year, since Little J was going to be doing the Fair all by himself, since Big Al is in Montana.

Little J's two pigs were primped and pampered and feed really well.. washed, clipped, wormed, scrubbed and exercised... more than ready! Shiloh walked into weigh in sporting a healthy 268 pounds. Chopper, sadly had pushed the weight limit of 300 pounds at 304... which is fine because we knew that one of them would be freezer filler :)

Little J and his piggies took Blue Ribbons in all his classes. He was pretty proud of himself and enjoyed Fair (for the most part)!

Making a really tough decision...

It has been a really tough few weeks.. probably the main reason that I have not blogged. We have had some major issues with Big Al, and the sub-par choices that he has been making. There comes a point along the journey where you have to stop, evaluate and decide what is going to work best for your family. For those folks that never reach that point - you are LUCKY!

FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) is something that Big Al has and he will struggle with it far into adulthood. In the last few months, the combo of FAS and puberty hormones (which, by the way - are both awful, but combine them and WHOA NELLY!)has been pushing Big Al to the limit of his decision making and behavior. As parents with two other younger kiddos, we had to make a tough choice to protect ALL our kids. Big Al was/is basically out of control and nothing we can do will slow him down. Nothing - we have tried.

So, we did some research and soul searching and decided to send him to The Ranch for Kids in Eureka, Montana. This is a therapeutic respite facility that caters to FAS kids that have been adopted internationally.

Last week, the three of us made the trip - a very long nine hour drive each way. Big Al showed very little emotion or anxiety about being left there. And sadly, neither did we when we left him there. There was a major sense of relief that he was in the right place and would be supervised 24/7 x 365.. which is something that had been bringing our whole family down and exhausting all of us emotionally and physically.

While not the easiest of choices - it was one of the only ones we can make for him....

August - it came and went

Ahhhh the month of August....
Summer is in full swing and we are trying hard to have each day go faster so that school will start soon... well, that is MY wish anyways!
The days have been warm and are kept busy with fun things like bike riding, motorcycles, getting the pigs ready for Fair and starting to get school supplies (love THAT part!!)
Of course, we have to get in a day of fishing!

Weekend fun!

Thank Heavens for nice weather this weekend! The boys got in some motorcycle time, and Miss O got some time in the uhhhh.. wheelbarrow?? She just loves being hauled around! Must be her inner Princess coming out!

Still on HGH

Big Al had his check up at Children's Hospital last week... good news.... he has grown... bad news... he has not grown much! He has grown about 7/8 of an inch in 12 months. Not a bunch... sadly we were really hoping for a whole lot more. We did manage to hold a whole 5 pounds on him in six months! That is itself is a huge task for a kid that hardly eats - and then proceeds to burn calories like crazy! So, we will be continuing the HGH shots for another 6 months to see what happens. It would be sooo nice if he just shot right up there a few inches..... sigh - wishful thinking!

She lost both front teeth in 3 days!

Miss O has had these snaggle teeth for the last two months! In May, the dentist said that they would be out within a week.... HA!! Papa had to help her pull them out! Needless to say, the tooth fairy was a frequent visitor this week!

Some days they surprise you!

Safety first!

For some reason, Miss O feels like a better biker wearing a motorcycle helmet! You would think that it would be heavy!!! haha

Cuttin a rug!

We attended a wedding reception for a family friend tonight! There was not too many kids there - but Little J and Miss O put the DJ to work and kept the dance floor dust free! They were too cute!

Another school year... is gone!

Today, was sadly the last day of the school year. Sigh.... Pending any other changes, next year we will have an 8th grader, a 6th grader and one little punkin in first grade! All three will be in ALLLLLL DAY school! That is the only exciting part! The half day kinder program was good - but everyday pickup at 11am was just wearing!
Little J "graduated" from elementary school - he was really stoked, but it seems that he is pretty nervous to learn to swim in a new pond next fall as one of the little fish! Big Al, well, we are just lucky that we skirted our way through the 7th grade, barely.

Miss O is very very happy to be going on to first grade! She did so well! We are so very proud of the exceptional progress she has made! Her speech has improved so much, as well as her vocabulary! I am amazed at the excellent skills she has learned with reading! To be reading at a first grade level while in kindergarten is just awesome!

Let's just hope that we can get some summer weather!!!

End of the year school BBQ

At the end of the year school bbq and field day, Miss O got some help on the rock wall at the school from her soon-to-be-graduated 5th grade brother! Wow- how time flies! Hard to believe that this was the only year that these two will be at the same school!! sniff sniff!

Playing catch-up!

Hard to believe I have not blogged in over 2 months! CRAAAZY! We have been pretty darn busy with "spring" and the end of the school year... so much to share - so I will need to get working on getting the blog posts to start spewing out!

Easter !

We were lucky enough to have Grandma Judy come and visit us for Easter this year! The kids were really thrilled to have her here for a real holiday!

Some one really loves this cow!

Ok, so the technical term should be "steer"... Miss O so very much loves "Bambi" our almost three year old steer. Bambi is so super gentle with her! Poor cow better find some amazing skill to impress us with soon - he is slated (sadly) to become burger next year!

Wrestle Mania!

We got thru the entire wrestling season! Whooo hooooo! Both boys did really well! Little J is finally able to really use what he has learned and does a whole lot less crying! haha! Big Al is getting better and better - but he needs to gain weight to be able to have someone else to wrestle! Here are both boys at the Ellensburg Wrestling Club end of year match! Way to go boys!

Happy Birthday Big Al

Somehow, we survived to reach Happy Birthday #13!

Wow - we have a certifiable "teen" in the house! Happy Birthday Big Al!

We are lucky!

I am always thankful that we have such kind and loving critters! Miss O, well... she is not quite a "gentle" with them as they would like... mostly the cats, and Phebe, the tank-o-lab! She does understand that PJ is old, and he has some challenges... like not being able to hear very well, and he is sort of set in his ways!

Regardless, Miss O is a animal magnet... they love her! Fester will hang out with her wherever, and PJ will lay with her and watch what she is doing! He will even tolerate her reading a bit to him!

Some nice news.....

Today we had school conferences for both the Elementary kids. Luckily, both will be moving up a grade next fall! Hard to believe that they like to make those determinations so early- haha!

Little J actually did a "tad" better in Music... but he still likes to not turn in homework, lowering his grade. He did get a "D" in the pre-algebra section of math... I am not concerned about that - considering he is in 5th-frickin grade!!! Some of the math was so confusing it took me and the hubby to figure it out!

Miss O is doing sooooo well! She is now reading at a first grade level! She is well liked by all her teachers and tries really hard! I am keeping my fingers crossed that she ends up being the "easy" one when it comes to school! Seriously, I should be allowed to have 1 out of 3 with very little or no school stress... shouldn't I?????

The continued lack of joy of special ed....

I do not like the word "DISABILITY"

I think that word gives people a pre-determined mind set that a person is unable to do certain things.
So, Big Al was given detention, in a nutshell, for being pencil-less! So, I called the school and spoke with the head-disciplinarian and asked him WHY was Big Al being given the same punishment for a lessor "crime" than other previous violations. Of course I got the silent "..........." nothing. No response. Then when I asked why he was being punished and embarassed for his disability... still got the "......" nothing. The only response I got was that I needed to talk to the Special Ed teacher.... And guess what???? That teacher NEVER contacted me back on the issue!

Enough is ENOUGH! I finally reached down, grabbed my ca-honas... and filed a complaint with the State Dept of Education. I printed off every email from the last year (and killed lots of trees and lots of ink!), every copy of detentions, notes from doctors, IEP's, State and Federal Laws and sent a two inch packet off to the State. Flipped the school the bird and moved on! haha!

Sadly, though... the last few months have really shown us how in many areas, Big Al is truly incapable of certain skills and functions. And these skills are ones that are pretty essential to daily life. We have tried so hard over the years to help him attain some of them, but they are just either not there or he chooses to not do them! (probably a bit of both)

So, now we move on to mediating with the school. Which basically means that the school will take all Big Al's info, and put together their response to the State... ie, what parts of the IEP they feel they complied with and the areas they did not (like his reading level has dropped, yet again). The State will ask us to work with the school to come to some agreement on what to do. In a nutshell, it will be re-writing an entirely new IEP, probably changing his schedule up... and adding things in there that should have never been taken out, like extended school year!

The whole situation has been mentally and physically exhausting. But, you can never stop advocating... ever.... until they are out of school!!! (that would be 5 years, 3 months!)

Special Ed- Oh the drama!

I try hard not to post too many negative things about my kids schools... basically for the reason that at one, I am there ALOT... and two... most people already know the problems that go on there... haha!

Big Al is been in special services (aka Special Education) classes since the third grade. During the elementary years, we were able to get lots of help for him, as well as being able to really tweak things when they were obviously not working. The teachers there actually did this thing called LISTENING! They were awesome and I miss them!
On to middle school.... the special services have been far less than "special"! Actually, they have been a pain in the butt! I now call them "Stressful Services"!
Since the beginning of the year, the case worker for him has done pretty much the bare bones on what is needed to help Big Al succeed. We actually saw his reading level DROP in the fall. Not a pleasant thing one likes to see!

Since the beginning of his middle school career, we have talked to the teacher about how important it is for him to learn and have his skills improved for his own organization... meaning things like writing down homework daily, writing upcoming tests and projects on a calendar, etc... He has a WHOLE class period dedicated to this one area... and here we are... barely skimming by with D's and F's. Most of the D's and F's have been given due to either turning in work late, not at all, or doing really poor quality on a project.... all of which COULD have been assisted with the study skills class.

So last week... I get this phone call that he has received DETENTION! Not that it is a huge surprise... he has received a few for things like throwing his food (don't get me started on that one!) being tardy and a few other small things. So, when Big Al arrives home with the written referral of the how's and why's of detention, it is written as he did not have a pencil!
Yep - no pencil apparently is grounds for 2 hours of detention! That was THE final straw! So, before calling the school to tell them that he would have to finish his detention the next week, because of some scheduling challenges... I started to REALLY get worked up!

I realized that he was actually being punished for his "disability". I really do not like that word ONE bit - actually, I rarely EVER use that word when it comes to Big Al... he is what he is.

to be continued.....

How did he do????

He was so excited to take third place in his bracket! Today he worked harder than ever - we are all very proud!

Well... club wrestling is just beginning!

Here I was all excited about school wrestling being over!! haha! Actually, club wrestling has 2 practices a week and tournaments on each Saturday in March.... but the benefit is that Little J will get to compete as well!

Little J has been working hard at practice, and doing pretty well... considering he is wrestling with a soft cast on to protect his broken pinkie!

Tomorrow, he will wrestle in his first match of the season.... I am hoping that he does well!! Big Al was supposed to wrestle, but according to his grades....there are only FAIRIES and there is no "Darn" about it!

School wrestling is OVER!

Today I am so thankful to shout it allll out!! "WRESTLING IS OVER!!!!!! WRESTLING IS OVER!!!!!"
The last two months have been pure HELL trying to get Big Al to qualify each WEEK for wrestling. Grades - oh my Gosh!! He missed three out of the eight matches due to that "Darn Fairy"... aka D's and F's on the report cards.

His last match was last night. For the first time in the season, he got pinned - twice!

But I am more than happy that it is over! No more daily pick ups and checking to make sure that he is making the right choices on homework, etc...... I can breathe a bit easier now when the DARN FAIRIES show up!!

Little J's Basketball Diaries

This was the first year that Little J played Basketball! He absolutley loved it! He loved it so much that he played with a broken finger for half the season! He did awesome and is probably a real natural at it (except in the height department!).

Little J had a really bittersweet season though.... he really wanted to be able to talk to his Grandpa about basketball, and to have his Grandpa see him play. His Grandpa nicknamed him "Dr. J"... and up until this basketball season, Little J did not really know who that was! Now he does!

Weight news

Big Al hit the 70 pound mark! Very exciting! His last appointment at Childrens went pretty well, though they are a bit concerned because his bone age is catching up to his physical age faster than they would like...before he was a bit over 3 years delayed growth, now it is only 2 years.
Hopefully, the HGH shots will start to really kick in... since last April, he has grown about .75 of an inch.....grrrrrrrr!

What has Miss O been up to?

Hard to believe I have not mentioned much about the little Princess! She is doing awesome! Kindergarten is going so well for her! She is down to one hour of speech therapy a week and has made some AWESOME strides!
She is reading in the second from highest reading group - and LOVES it! My hope is that reading will come easily for her (as well as school in general!) She has a few really good little friends and has been having playdates about every other week. I am so glad that we are giving her a gentle push to be more social - because she is quiet and pretty shy, this really gives her a little extra to stay social.

Other than having the much-too-often "O"tomic bomb go off in her room... she is doing amazing with her development and especially her vocabulary! She is such a smart little girl too!

She just weighed in at a whomping 45 pounds!!! She is such a sweetie!

Things they do for fun.....

This totally cracked me up! Big Al really wanted to fly a kite today... the wind was blowing out of the south, instead of the west, so we made him move out to the top field to avoid the power line!

Apparently, the cows find kites VERY entertaining! They just hung out the whole time and watched him! Too funny!

Celebration of Cultures!

Every year at our elementary school, the fifth graders do a special project called Celebration of Cultures. Each student is to pick a or their country of origin. Obviously, Little J chose to do his on Ukraine!
Believe me... this was no easy task for him! It ended up being alot of last minute typing, printing, cutting and pasting... but he scored an "A" for all his hard work! We were able to keep his display board and he is so super proud of it!!

Somebody is ELEVEN today!

Happy Birthday to my Baby BOY! Today he is ELEVEN! I cannot believe how time has flown! Had to believe that he is truly a "tween" now!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today would be my Dad's 71st Birthday. It is so hard to believe that he has been gone for four months. We had a batch of brownies in his honor tonight and the kids (especially Miss O) talked about how much they missed him and some funny Grandpa stories! We sure all miss him! Happy Birthday Dad!

Surviving the month!

So far, this new year has been kinda so-so! Hectic, yes... tiring, yes.... stressful, YES!

Between running both boys to their sports (wrestling for Big Al, Bball for Little J) and other activities... I am starting to feel like a trannsit van! Crazy! I am putting a ton a miles on the car and paying out the yin-yang in gas!

Things will continue to be a little nuts until sports slow down... WHEN'S THAT!!! haha

Big Al will wrestle (for now!)

Well... so far, Big Al is managing to keep just above a "D"... I know that it is going to be a major struggle for him (and us!) to maintain it.. but we have to be hopeful!
He got his official Middle School warm ups and singlets today... so here he is striking a pose!

Little J's first B-ball game

Saturday was Little J's first ever Basketball game! His team in the Rockets (in blue). Apparently, I must need a new camera - my pictures are a blurry mess!

Little J did great in his game! He had fun and really enjoyed himself! He was a little disappointed that he did not get to pick his jersey number though... he wanted to be #22, just like his Grandpa!

Welcoming in a new year!

Well... thankfully, the kids are back in school and the routine in shaping back up! Two weeks off of school is really too long!

Little J has been practicing basketball and is getting prepped for his first game.. he is really excited, yet part of him is sad.. he really wanted his Grandpa to be able to see him play. Gotta love that kid!

Big Al is struggling daily to keep up his grades so that he can start wrestling... Grades... ugh! Our family deal is no "D's" or "F's" in a class, then he can practice AND compete... we'll see what happens!

I took this cute picture of the boys with good ole PJ.. PJ still loves to be involved in whatever they are doing - and thankfully, they love him so much that they will let him lay on the puzzle for awhile before tempting him off with a cookie!

Trying to play catch up!

Alot of things have happened in the last month! I am trying to get back into the swing of things and get to updating the blog!!!

Updates will be up soon!!