Not sending our dossier to Ukraine

We have made a really tough decision to NOT adopt our boys older brother, Sergey. For the last 6 months, we have been quietly putting together our "dossier" - which is a huge stack of paperwork that needs to be submitted before you can apply to adopt any child internationally. We have everything all apostilled and in order. This decision has been hard and heartbreaking, but we feel that bringing Sergey home with us would not be the best choice for our family.
Sergey is 16 now... he is aging out of his orphanage next month and will be sent on to vocational school to try and learn a trade. Over the last two months, we have learned alot more about Sergey, his strengths and his challenges. We have looked into all sorts of possibilities that would have assisted us with being able to bring him here. For a long time, finances were an issue that slowed things down. We got past that hurdle only to hit another... one that was alot harder to get over.
Sergey has a condition that is similar to one of his brothers. I will get into this condition in another email... but put simply - this condition, while invisible to most - is a true disability. We have had countless emails with two people in Ukraine who have done a wonderful thing by helping us stay in touch with Sergey and get to know more about him. While we have never promised adoption to anyone - the hope has always been there that this would be a possibility.
Over the last couple of months - we have learned much more about behaviors and challenges. While many of these are typical teenage things, they also follow a pattern that makes things more difficult.
We decided that we could not in good conscience add Sergey into our family. The kiddos that we already have present so many different challenges each and every day - we felt that for their well being that adding an older child with a new set of issues would be damaging to the progress that we have worked so hard to obtain.
While we will continue to advocate and support Sergey as best we can.. it does sadden us that his dream of having a real family will have to wait until he is ready to start his own. Just a thank-you to those of you who had sent me emails over the last couple of months... its been a journey that we have learned from. We really had high hopes that we could bring him here and help to "fix" things for him.. unfortunately, it was not meant for us to do.

What's new in our world...

It's been an interesting week - to put things mildly! Sometimes, there are alot of things that you can do without as a parent! Honestly - life would be easier :) Maybe not as exciting - but easier! We have had alot of conversation regarding Ukraine this week, some with really good memories about what we were doing two years ago, and some conversations about a current event going on that affects us directly. I have a friend in Ukraine who shared some news with us that really tugged at our heart and has made a major impact on alot of things this week. We are hoping that we are going to receive some divine intervention to help us with some of this news... it is hard to make some choices and decisions when the persons you are dealing with are 5000 miles away. Needless to say, certain people in Ukraine have been in our prayers this week.

Friday night the hubby had to take Big Al to the ER... nothing too thrilling, as we have to do this once or twice a year as apparently when you eat too much paper, glue and erasers, you tend to get blocked up... he was fine about an hour after getting home.
Saturday, we spent some time outside getting stuff done and enjoying the sunshine...
Sunday, the hubby and I went to Yakima to get some early "elf work" done. We hardly got anything, we just were not in the shopping mood!
Monday, another half day for the boys being parent-teacher conferences. The boys had some friends over after school, and acted like a couple of spastics... I don't get WHY my boys feel that they have to act out so much when other kids come over... sigh....
Tuesday, the boys had school and then we all headed up to the dentist for their 6 month check ups.. 2 without any cavities.. and Big Al, the dentist wants to see back to pull a couple of permanent teeth (cha-ching)... another sigh.... I need to find a day when the hubby can take him - I am so not up for another tooth drama with him! After the dentist, we headed back to town to do our parent-teacher conferences. There was some good improvement, and well, some areas that could stand a major makeover!
And finally to today! Since it is my birthday (I won't tell you which one) the hubby gets to take me out to dinner for Mexican... I'll get to wear the big sombero and have a shot of tequila! Well, I'll probably have to bypass the shot and go with the fried ice cream so the kids can share...oh well!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!