Making a really tough decision...

It has been a really tough few weeks.. probably the main reason that I have not blogged. We have had some major issues with Big Al, and the sub-par choices that he has been making. There comes a point along the journey where you have to stop, evaluate and decide what is going to work best for your family. For those folks that never reach that point - you are LUCKY!

FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) is something that Big Al has and he will struggle with it far into adulthood. In the last few months, the combo of FAS and puberty hormones (which, by the way - are both awful, but combine them and WHOA NELLY!)has been pushing Big Al to the limit of his decision making and behavior. As parents with two other younger kiddos, we had to make a tough choice to protect ALL our kids. Big Al was/is basically out of control and nothing we can do will slow him down. Nothing - we have tried.

So, we did some research and soul searching and decided to send him to The Ranch for Kids in Eureka, Montana. This is a therapeutic respite facility that caters to FAS kids that have been adopted internationally.

Last week, the three of us made the trip - a very long nine hour drive each way. Big Al showed very little emotion or anxiety about being left there. And sadly, neither did we when we left him there. There was a major sense of relief that he was in the right place and would be supervised 24/7 x 365.. which is something that had been bringing our whole family down and exhausting all of us emotionally and physically.

While not the easiest of choices - it was one of the only ones we can make for him....

August - it came and went

Ahhhh the month of August....
Summer is in full swing and we are trying hard to have each day go faster so that school will start soon... well, that is MY wish anyways!
The days have been warm and are kept busy with fun things like bike riding, motorcycles, getting the pigs ready for Fair and starting to get school supplies (love THAT part!!)
Of course, we have to get in a day of fishing!

Weekend fun!

Thank Heavens for nice weather this weekend! The boys got in some motorcycle time, and Miss O got some time in the uhhhh.. wheelbarrow?? She just loves being hauled around! Must be her inner Princess coming out!

Still on HGH

Big Al had his check up at Children's Hospital last week... good news.... he has grown... bad news... he has not grown much! He has grown about 7/8 of an inch in 12 months. Not a bunch... sadly we were really hoping for a whole lot more. We did manage to hold a whole 5 pounds on him in six months! That is itself is a huge task for a kid that hardly eats - and then proceeds to burn calories like crazy! So, we will be continuing the HGH shots for another 6 months to see what happens. It would be sooo nice if he just shot right up there a few inches..... sigh - wishful thinking!

She lost both front teeth in 3 days!

Miss O has had these snaggle teeth for the last two months! In May, the dentist said that they would be out within a week.... HA!! Papa had to help her pull them out! Needless to say, the tooth fairy was a frequent visitor this week!

Some days they surprise you!

Safety first!

For some reason, Miss O feels like a better biker wearing a motorcycle helmet! You would think that it would be heavy!!! haha

Cuttin a rug!

We attended a wedding reception for a family friend tonight! There was not too many kids there - but Little J and Miss O put the DJ to work and kept the dance floor dust free! They were too cute!

Another school year... is gone!

Today, was sadly the last day of the school year. Sigh.... Pending any other changes, next year we will have an 8th grader, a 6th grader and one little punkin in first grade! All three will be in ALLLLLL DAY school! That is the only exciting part! The half day kinder program was good - but everyday pickup at 11am was just wearing!
Little J "graduated" from elementary school - he was really stoked, but it seems that he is pretty nervous to learn to swim in a new pond next fall as one of the little fish! Big Al, well, we are just lucky that we skirted our way through the 7th grade, barely.

Miss O is very very happy to be going on to first grade! She did so well! We are so very proud of the exceptional progress she has made! Her speech has improved so much, as well as her vocabulary! I am amazed at the excellent skills she has learned with reading! To be reading at a first grade level while in kindergarten is just awesome!

Let's just hope that we can get some summer weather!!!

End of the year school BBQ

At the end of the year school bbq and field day, Miss O got some help on the rock wall at the school from her soon-to-be-graduated 5th grade brother! Wow- how time flies! Hard to believe that this was the only year that these two will be at the same school!! sniff sniff!

Playing catch-up!

Hard to believe I have not blogged in over 2 months! CRAAAZY! We have been pretty darn busy with "spring" and the end of the school year... so much to share - so I will need to get working on getting the blog posts to start spewing out!

Easter !

We were lucky enough to have Grandma Judy come and visit us for Easter this year! The kids were really thrilled to have her here for a real holiday!

Some one really loves this cow!

Ok, so the technical term should be "steer"... Miss O so very much loves "Bambi" our almost three year old steer. Bambi is so super gentle with her! Poor cow better find some amazing skill to impress us with soon - he is slated (sadly) to become burger next year!

Wrestle Mania!

We got thru the entire wrestling season! Whooo hooooo! Both boys did really well! Little J is finally able to really use what he has learned and does a whole lot less crying! haha! Big Al is getting better and better - but he needs to gain weight to be able to have someone else to wrestle! Here are both boys at the Ellensburg Wrestling Club end of year match! Way to go boys!

Happy Birthday Big Al

Somehow, we survived to reach Happy Birthday #13!

Wow - we have a certifiable "teen" in the house! Happy Birthday Big Al!

We are lucky!

I am always thankful that we have such kind and loving critters! Miss O, well... she is not quite a "gentle" with them as they would like... mostly the cats, and Phebe, the tank-o-lab! She does understand that PJ is old, and he has some challenges... like not being able to hear very well, and he is sort of set in his ways!

Regardless, Miss O is a animal magnet... they love her! Fester will hang out with her wherever, and PJ will lay with her and watch what she is doing! He will even tolerate her reading a bit to him!

Some nice news.....

Today we had school conferences for both the Elementary kids. Luckily, both will be moving up a grade next fall! Hard to believe that they like to make those determinations so early- haha!

Little J actually did a "tad" better in Music... but he still likes to not turn in homework, lowering his grade. He did get a "D" in the pre-algebra section of math... I am not concerned about that - considering he is in 5th-frickin grade!!! Some of the math was so confusing it took me and the hubby to figure it out!

Miss O is doing sooooo well! She is now reading at a first grade level! She is well liked by all her teachers and tries really hard! I am keeping my fingers crossed that she ends up being the "easy" one when it comes to school! Seriously, I should be allowed to have 1 out of 3 with very little or no school stress... shouldn't I?????

The continued lack of joy of special ed....

I do not like the word "DISABILITY"

I think that word gives people a pre-determined mind set that a person is unable to do certain things.
So, Big Al was given detention, in a nutshell, for being pencil-less! So, I called the school and spoke with the head-disciplinarian and asked him WHY was Big Al being given the same punishment for a lessor "crime" than other previous violations. Of course I got the silent "..........." nothing. No response. Then when I asked why he was being punished and embarassed for his disability... still got the "......" nothing. The only response I got was that I needed to talk to the Special Ed teacher.... And guess what???? That teacher NEVER contacted me back on the issue!

Enough is ENOUGH! I finally reached down, grabbed my ca-honas... and filed a complaint with the State Dept of Education. I printed off every email from the last year (and killed lots of trees and lots of ink!), every copy of detentions, notes from doctors, IEP's, State and Federal Laws and sent a two inch packet off to the State. Flipped the school the bird and moved on! haha!

Sadly, though... the last few months have really shown us how in many areas, Big Al is truly incapable of certain skills and functions. And these skills are ones that are pretty essential to daily life. We have tried so hard over the years to help him attain some of them, but they are just either not there or he chooses to not do them! (probably a bit of both)

So, now we move on to mediating with the school. Which basically means that the school will take all Big Al's info, and put together their response to the State... ie, what parts of the IEP they feel they complied with and the areas they did not (like his reading level has dropped, yet again). The State will ask us to work with the school to come to some agreement on what to do. In a nutshell, it will be re-writing an entirely new IEP, probably changing his schedule up... and adding things in there that should have never been taken out, like extended school year!

The whole situation has been mentally and physically exhausting. But, you can never stop advocating... ever.... until they are out of school!!! (that would be 5 years, 3 months!)

Special Ed- Oh the drama!

I try hard not to post too many negative things about my kids schools... basically for the reason that at one, I am there ALOT... and two... most people already know the problems that go on there... haha!

Big Al is been in special services (aka Special Education) classes since the third grade. During the elementary years, we were able to get lots of help for him, as well as being able to really tweak things when they were obviously not working. The teachers there actually did this thing called LISTENING! They were awesome and I miss them!
On to middle school.... the special services have been far less than "special"! Actually, they have been a pain in the butt! I now call them "Stressful Services"!
Since the beginning of the year, the case worker for him has done pretty much the bare bones on what is needed to help Big Al succeed. We actually saw his reading level DROP in the fall. Not a pleasant thing one likes to see!

Since the beginning of his middle school career, we have talked to the teacher about how important it is for him to learn and have his skills improved for his own organization... meaning things like writing down homework daily, writing upcoming tests and projects on a calendar, etc... He has a WHOLE class period dedicated to this one area... and here we are... barely skimming by with D's and F's. Most of the D's and F's have been given due to either turning in work late, not at all, or doing really poor quality on a project.... all of which COULD have been assisted with the study skills class.

So last week... I get this phone call that he has received DETENTION! Not that it is a huge surprise... he has received a few for things like throwing his food (don't get me started on that one!) being tardy and a few other small things. So, when Big Al arrives home with the written referral of the how's and why's of detention, it is written as he did not have a pencil!
Yep - no pencil apparently is grounds for 2 hours of detention! That was THE final straw! So, before calling the school to tell them that he would have to finish his detention the next week, because of some scheduling challenges... I started to REALLY get worked up!

I realized that he was actually being punished for his "disability". I really do not like that word ONE bit - actually, I rarely EVER use that word when it comes to Big Al... he is what he is.

to be continued.....

How did he do????

He was so excited to take third place in his bracket! Today he worked harder than ever - we are all very proud!